When I hit 52 years old, managing my energy became my #1 priority.
Between 51 and 52 years old, my energy dipped massively. It’s the season of life I’m in (Hint: menopause) and I had to become more discerning about what I said ‘yes’ to.
As little as two years ago, I was saying ‘yes’ to everyone who asked to work on their public speaking. I was on never-ending calls with women who weren’t going to invest in themselves, women who cancelled 2 minutes before the call, or were flat broke.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy meeting people, but this was a total energy drain.
"Do exactly what you would do if you felt most secure."
- Meister Eckhart
I heard Jennifer Tejada speak.
In addition to being the CEO of Pager Duty, she’s a champion skiier. She drew an analogy.
“The first time I stare down a Black Diamond isn’t the first time I flex those ski muscles. I train all-year-round to navigate a Black Diamond to prevent injury.
As CEO, in order to manage the next crisis that inevitably lands on her doorstep, she is meticulous about managing her energy all year round.
In fact, energy management is her top priority.
I interviewed one of my favorite authors Michael Port.
He writes in Book Yourself Solid about the merits of drawing a ‘red velvet rope’ across your services as a business owner.
In other words, curating who gets access to your time, energy, and expertise—so you can do your best work, with clients who truly value it.
Why It Works
You Attract the Right Clients
Not everyone is a good fit, and that’s a good thing.
The right clients respect your expertise, do the work, and get results.
They naturally become raving fans who refer others like them.
You Avoid Energy Drains
The wrong clients drain your energy, ignore your advice, or cause unnecessary stress.
Working with them leads to resentment, burnout, and second-guessing your worth.
You Do Your Best Work
When you're excited about your clients, you bring your A-game.
You get better results, which boosts your reputation and confidence.
How to Apply the ‘Red Velvet Rope’ Policy
Define Your Ideal Clients
Who are the people that get the best results with you?
What qualities make someone a dream client? (Committed, resourceful, proactive?)
Recognize the Red Flags
What behaviors have caused frustration in past clients?
Do they ignore boundaries, resist feedback, or drop out at the last minute?
Set Up Boundaries & Filters
Use an application process to filter who gets in.
Be clear on who you don’t work with (e.g., people who aren’t ready to commit).
Create policies (e.g., non-refundable deposits, clear communication expectations).
Trust Yourself to Say No
Saying “no” to the wrong clients makes space for the right ones.
Example: “I don’t think we’re the right fit, but I can recommend someone else.”
The Result?
You build a business full of clients you love, who get incredible results, and who become walking advertisements for your work. Less frustration, more impact.
My big red velvet rope involves a key tech platform: Calendly.
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