I tracked every script I used for 12 months. Here’s the most effective one nobody talks about.
The real language. The reason why it works. What worked, what flopped, and the one thing that change
Greetings from Milan. I’m here spending time with a sponsor from New York who helps to underwrite my stage productions.
In the Navigli district sits a vintage shop I spent 2 hours in yesterday. No joke. I tried on 16 dresses at Pour Quoi Moi Vintage. I normally scan racks. Here I lovingly admired every single piece on the 4 racks. A testament to owner Juliana’s exquisite curation from Paris, Finland and the remotest parts of Italy.
With great restraint, I only bought two dresses. A Yves Saint Laurent tunic dress in blue and a fire engine red and fuchsia silk dress.
Every week, I curate scripts you can use in business.
When I was on TV, I developed a script and spoke straight to camera. A camera didn’t react. It’s an inanimate object.
When I launched my business in 2012, all of a sudden, I was in desperate need of scripts to deal with real people (not a camera).
I started stockpiling scripts in my back pocket. I could whip them out in real time and use them. THIS was the empowerment piece.
I’m sharing them for your benefit here.
Today’s Substack script share was inspired by a reader.
A direct report doesn’t have the language to say to her “I screwed up” or “I don’t have the bandwidth to do this right now.”
Years ago, in a productivity class with Ari Meisel, I learned one line that reframed how I thought about delegation:
“Nobody acts out of mal intent. People act out of misdirection.”
This put the onus of communicating better back on —the person giving directions.
But, with the help of this framework handoff, the direct report could be better armed with both creativity flex and decision-making power.
The Downstream Handoff — for when you're delegating to someone else:
Project title:
Who owns it:
Why do they own it:
What does success look like:
What does failure look like:
When to bother me (the boss) with questions (And how: Text, email, phone call):
When NOT to bother me with questions:
Since the “Devil Wears Prada” is hot right now, let’s use that as an example.
Project Title: 10 skirts from Calvin Klein for photo shoot
Who owns it: Andy
Why do they own it: As second assistant to Miranda Priestly, editor of Runway, errands are part of the second assistant’s job description
What does success look like: Fabrication: wool. Winter weight. Length: Midi. Shape: A line. Print: Solid. No slits.What does failure look like: Fabrication: Silk. Linen. Summer weight fabrics. No synthetic fibers. Rayon. Polyester. Viscose. Lyocell. Acetate. Silk or linen. Length: Mini. Floor length. Shape: Straight or flared. Asymmetrical. Print: Striped. Polka Dots. No prints of any kind. High slits.
When to bother me with questions and how: When Andy has a skirt candidate that checks at least 4 of the above “success” boxes, send text with photo of the skirt.
When not to bother me with questions: If it checks at least 4 of the “success” boxes, but is in linen, silk, or a summer weight fabric.
See how it works?
Now — what about the other direction?
The upstream hand off to a C level boss or a premium client. Here’s a framework:
The Upstream Brief
What I heard the assignment was: [Restate the goal in your own words. This catches something you misheard before it costs anyone anything.]
Where I am now: [Facts-faced status update]
What I’ve already tried or done: [Shows ownership. You’re not handing off problems—you tried a solution first]
The two or three paths I see: [Plan A, B, C, with the downsides listed.]
What I’m recommending: [Your judgment. This is the move that separates a direct report from a leader-in-training.]
What I need from you, and by when: [A specific decision with a specific deadline.]
The Pre-Read Template
As an alternative, (because I like to offer language options) my colleague Jade Bonacolta shared this effective framework before each 1:1 meeting with her boss. She is founder of The Quiet Rich newsletter, and was promoted 5 times in 6.5 years, so we have evidence this framework —works.
A short email structured in three sections:
1. What went well this week She kept a running “‘wins’ folder.” Any time someone praised her work, sent a positive email from a sales lead, or shared a metric that was hit —-it went into the folder. She’d pull from it when drafting the pre-read, then save the full list separately so it was ready for performance review season.
2. What I’m focusing on next week Not waiting for her manager to assign work, but proposing it. A mix of ongoing projects and new initiatives. She’d also flag, in advance: who do I need an intro to this week, where might I need your help, what could go wrong. Where possible, she would present problems alongside proposed solutions—not just flag problems.
3. One new idea A single small idea or innovation idea for the team. Often born from noticing something her manager found frustrating. She emphasized keeping these small to avoid scope creep — but said this section is what made her visible beyond her direct work. (Example: she pitched a monthly internal newsletter, owned it, and it became a recurring visibility moment with senior leaders across the org.)
Why did this work?
“I could be doing the best work in the world, but it didn’t matter if the right people didn’t know about it.”
Script if you screwed up
Never lead with ‘I screwed up.” It puts your boss in the position of managing your emotional state instead of solving the problem. Instead:
“Quick update on [X]. Here’s what happened: [facts, two sentences]. Here’s what I’ve done to contain it: [actions]. Here’s what I’m recommending next: [path forward]. What I need from you: [specific sign-off or decision].”
You’ve named it, owned it, contained it, and handed her a decision.
Script if you dont’ have bandwidth but don’t know how to say it
Don’t use the word bandwidth. It signals overwhelm and asks her to manage your capacity. Reframe it as “What should I deprioritize?”
“Here’s what’s on my plate this week: [list]. Here’s the priority order I’d recommend. To take on [the new ask], I’d need to push [X] or get help with [Y]. What would you like me to do?”
You’ve handed her the same information — but she’s making a leadership decision instead of getting a complaint from you.
Here is a video of Juliana in her Milanese vintage shop.
She doesn’t put 60 dresses on her racks. She curates four. That’s why I lost two hours in her shop and walked out with a YSL and a silk dress instead of decision fatigue.
When you communicate well upstream, you’re doing the same thing.
Don’t bring your boss the whole rack. Curate to the two pieces that deserve her attention. Bring her your recommendation and the decision you need her to make.
That’s how you become the person she trusts to handle the rest.
— Joya
When you are ready, 3 ways I can help you:
If you’re struggling to say ‘no’ gracefully at work, I created a digital community where all my scripts are organized (15,000 downloaded)
I’ll add to it each week.
By practice I live and work in another country for 30 days each quarter.
I created a guide to designing your business so that your life can include slower mornings and maybe a different view — without your authority leaving the room with you.
[ Download The Strategic Snapshot → ]
Yes, I help women in business give compelling talks on a big stage.
But along the way, as we are building her body of work that is uniquely hers.
The waitlist is open for the 2027 Samita Lab Mastermind. I”m currently interviewing candidates who welcome giving a signature talk on stage, and doing it in community with 7 other women leaders.